dirt.

So it’s been quite a while since my last post, again. I’m turning away from the blogging fanboy. Just blogging when I need to vent, like this blog was originally intended for.

Work’s gotten a little stressful. It turns out one of the kids I work with gave me up to my boss. The fact that I’m okay with them hanging out in the office and whatnot. Now I’ve gotta be the dick manager that I never wanted to be because they forced me to. Oh well, not really my loss. I’m pretty sure I know who it is, obviously it won’t be 100% unless the kids name is mentioned. But I’ve only worked with one of the kids for the majority of the past two weeks — when I’ve had my keys. I think he’s holding a grudge against me because I got the position he wanted because he’s not eighteen.  I never understood why my managers when I was younger were dicks. Now I know — if you’re a nice manager you’ll get your ass handed to you by the ungrateful fuck that wants your position. Dually noted.

Other than that little fiasco from this weekend I’m doing pretty good. Going camping Tuesday/Wednesday with Will and Glenn. Gonna shoot each other with airsoft guns, play cards, paintball a bit, swim, just have fun. I can’t wait to get away from the city and just.. relax. That’s what I’m looking forward to about my trip to Kentucky. Sure, it’s in the middle of nowhere but that’s what I’m excited for. I plan to just throw my iPod on shuffle and run for a couple hours at least half the time I’m there.

An interesting point was brought up by an acquaintance today. A girl that I met first semester and was friends with both Felicia and myself. Apparently she’s more my friend than Felicia’s. Score Isaac: 1, Felicia: 0. We were just talking about being fat. It made me realize why I am, in fact, fat. It’s not because I’m lazy or anything, I mean, I am lazy, but look at Will, he’s just as lazy if not lazier. His ass needs some more meat. It’s because the people that I surround myself by don’t really care that I’m fat. This girl has known me for 9 months and doesn’t care. I’ve got friends that have known me for 10 years that don’t care. I’m pretty good at choosing friends.

Speaking of friends. I feel like I’m growing apart from one of the close ones. I’m increasingly annoyed at the person for things that really don’t matter. I find myself being rash and critical with them for no reason. Yeah, things they do bug me, but that’s how they’re choosing to live their life. As long as things between us dont’ really change, which they haven’t, I need to just shut up. I just can’t quite find the umph to do it though.

I’m starting to become better friends with the girls. I was talking to Will about it the other day, they’ve earned a title. Sure, it’s the girls, but it’s a title none the less. Last time I hung out with them was Thursday on a complete and total whim but it was amazing. I don’t really think I’ll be able to hang out with them without Will for a while, but once he leaves for the Marines I’ll have to. They’re amazing gals, good times, especially sober.

I still don’t have the true need for a lover yet. There’s been a couple girls that have come and gone that I haven’t really been attracted to. Makes me glad that I’m not desperate as fuck like that. I used to not want to even date because of Felicia, I didn’t want to see her retaliate. But now I really don’t care, if she’s gonna play it like that, that’s fine. It’s not like either one of us puts in the effort to see each other. Why would we put in effort to not hurt the other one after the initial hurt is already done? It still kinda hurts — not being with her. But for the most part I’m over it. She was a virus in my life that just dragged me down. It doesn’t matter how amazing I felt or how care free I was, she did change me — for the worst. And like everything else that usually happens, once she was done with me she tossed me to the side with no regard for what would happen.

On to a happier note. I’ve got motivation to get fit again. Just for me, not for you, or you, or you, or her. For me. I think if I can really get into getting in shape I’ll just be in a better place. More energized for day to day stuff. In better shape. Hell, I might even take up some really active hobbies. Just for fun. Something that requires me to get out and about, I’ve learned I enjoy going out and doing things. It’s better than sitting in my room on my ass playing a video game or going to a bar and spending 7 hours playing poker. Although there’s nothing wrong with either.

So I feel better. Partially because Marielle is telling me stories about this guy she just met. He doesn’t even like coffee!! Ahh, goodnight world.

 

Acid

Boy oh boy it’s been quite a while since my last blog. A shit ton has been up but I don’t really feel like going back through and categorizing everything and regurgitating it to you. But I will tell you this. I’m even further along the road of just moving on. The more and more time I spend distracting myself from the whole situation, the easier it is to just accept it.

I’m almost done with this semester of college. Finals are next week and then I’m done! I can’t wait, I’ve grown tired of going to class every day, summer will be a nice break. My mother wants me to take some summer classes but I’m not sure how well that will go. Maybe I’ll do it, maybe I’ll meet the next girl I spend a grip of time with. Who knows.

Work’s been increasingly more fun for me. I got my supervisor keys a while ago but finally started closing and opening the store on my own last week. Tonight was probably the most amazing night of work I’ve ever had. Matt and I were just tasting everything that was going into the buckets before they were mixed and frozen in the machine. Some stuff tasted gross, most stuff tasted fine, there were a couple things that tasted amazing. Until we got to the Citric Acid. Now, I’ve never tasted it pure before, I know it’s in a lot of things I’ve drank, and I know it’s in the ice we serve, hence me putting it in. But there was nothing that could prepare me for the shock known as pure Citric Acid. Now as the usual here’s your sign for me, it is called acid. But I didn’t really think it would.. be like it was. We both carefullly measured less than a teaspoon of the stuff and stuck it in our mouths at the same time. The reaction was priceless. Within a millisecond of that stuff hitting our tongues we bolted to the sink to spit it out and wash our mouths out. The taste stuck with me all night. I couldn’t drink water because it’d like wash the acid down my throat which kills. I couldn’t eat ice cream because it too brought the acid down my throat. It was terrible. I was salivating uncontrollably while laughing so hard I cried. The reaction would have been an amazing thing to throw on YouTube, I’m not sure if I’ll ever do that again. Slash I don’t plan on it, but we’re going to get the owner of the company to do it, he might stipulate we do it again. I’ll be sure to record it that time. We did do it in plain view of the security camera in the back room, so I do want to try and procure the footage from there. Even though it won’t have any sound, it was a kodak moment (let me go and get my camera).
Anyways, that’s pretty much it for now. I’ve had so many inspirations for blogs in the past couple weeks but I’ve been doing MySpace surveys which totally killed my blogging mind. I’ll try to keep from doing that in the future.

 

I want to fucking tear you apart!

Rawr. So it’s been a minute since my last blog. But I’ve got to say, I feel quite amazing. It all started last weekend, I shall digress:

Thursday was when it all started. I actually had a semi-laundry like list of things to do for the day. I was actually going to go to Economics, I needed to get my Food Handlers Card for work, and.. well, that’s about it. I guess it’s not even close to a laundry list. Okay, so it started off in the morning. Will picked me up for school like normal, got to English, did a bunch of review on our paper, it’s due Tuesday, April 15. Went to Economics in anticipation of a test which I found out we did, in fact, have that day. But while I was waiting out in front of my classroom I had a surprise visitor. Felicia walked up and started talking to me. It wasn’t really awkward, but I could feel my attraction for her fading. It’s an amazing feeling when you need it. I needed it.

So she walked away, no hug, I didn’t mind. I noticed/thought about it, but I didn’t mind. Got into class, got the quiz. This is where it got interested. Usually it’s Luke, some random guy, and myself working together. But this particular day we decided to team up with the table next to us. So we had effectively turned two brains into six, we were missing the random guy. The quiz took the whole two hours of class, but I had a blast doing it. We were all chatting and having fun while we took the quiz. That’s my kind of quiz. After Economics was Math. Kind of a boring class, but Will and I sit together and dick around the whole time. Plus we’re not allowed to miss any more classes, she’s threatened to drop us lol. So went to Math, dicked around with Will, then headed out.

Mason was gonna go with me to get my Food Handlers Card and he lives right by the school so we picked him up on our way to my place. Got to my place, Will took off and then Mason and I went in my place to get the directions. When I walked in I noticed I had a message from my work. I called them back up and found out that I didn’t need to go in at 11am on Friday morning. I know, it’s a loss of hours, but then she told me I’d begin my management duties the following week, which means more hours and more pay. So that totally got me stoked. Then we went and got my Food Handlers Card. Made fun of how stupid the study guide was, passed the test, got my card and pranked my boss. I walked in and told her I failed the test with a look of clear defeat on my face. She almost freaked, but the I laughed at her and told her I was kidding. She cracked up.

So then Mason and I went back to my place and chilled for a minute. Went back to his place so he could get ready for work. I was gonna go with him, but I got this sudden urge to be responsible, my birthday was Saturday so I decided to go home and start my paper that’s due Tuesday, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it over the weekend. I ended up getting most of it done, but not all of it, I finished Monday night after greek. So I ended up going to bed around 12:00 AM Thursday night/Friday morning. Woke up around 11 AM and just kinda hung out with the parents. My dad’s not doing too good, the liver cancer is really taking a toll on him, so I waited on him hand and foot whenever he needed me to do something. I was supposed to go bowling Friday night, but I guess everyone bailed so that was a no go. So Mason decided he wanted to take me out to a movie, we ended up seeing Street Kings.

It was a good movie. And by good movie I mean it was like “Hight Times”, in that it was a good movie, but there’s seriouisly no plot, at all. One of my favorite lines of all time comes out of this movie though. Let me set it up for you. Basically, at the beginning of the movie, Keanu Reeves’ character is talking to some Korean guys, insulting them, confusing them for Japaneese and whatnot. Finally they get mad and tell him to get it straight. To which he replies “How am I supposed to tell the difference if you can’t? You dress white, talk black, and drive Jew” I couldn’t stop laughing at that. The rest of the movie was blah, I watched it, enjoyed it, but probably won’t watch it again.

After the movie got over we went back to my place after a bit of joy riding. We totally randomly drove around until I convinced him to go play some ball at the park. So we went and played basketball at like 3:00 AM at the park that closes at 10:30 PM. It was fun, I swept him in every game we played. Two games of H.O.R.S.E. and a game of 21. We’re terrible at basketball, but it was still good times. We got back to my place around 4 or 4:30, I passed out around 5.

I got up around 10. Mason got up shortly after. We kinda vegged around, not know quite what to do. Not able to go party because I had to get up early on Sunday. I don’t remember much of what we did. But I spent time with my best friend. It’s the best birthday gift I could ask for. He ended up taking off around 11 that night, I went to bed in anticipation of the next days activities..

Sunday morning I went shooting for the first time in years. I went with Will, Daniel, and Glenn. We drove out to some random place out past Apache Junction and just let loose with the .22’s. It was fun, we decided we need to get a shotgun for next time. That’ll be some good fun. Put some pictures up on MySpace, got a couple good quotes form the guys lol. They’re captions now.

I got home from shooting around 1 in the afternoon and ended up falling asleep for a couple hours. I try not to take naps but I think this one was well deserved. After I woke up I really did nothing all day. Woke up at 4:15 and just watched a couple movies. I watched Terminator 3, Batman Begins, and then the Inagural Moto X World Championships from San Diego. I did nothing but be lazy and help my dad. But it was amazing.

Not gonna lie, I wasn’t really looking forward to Monday. It meant the beginning of my responsibilities because I coudln’t just shed them forever, only the weekend. I got to Math fine, went home did my Psychology homework, went to Psychology then came back home. Ran around town with Will for a couple hours before Greek started. Watched it, took him home and then hammered out my paper. That’s the schedule of what I’ve done recently.

Now for what I’ve been thinking:

I think I’m finally over Felicia. Like, I don’t yearn to be with her. Turning nineteen seemed to have totally flipped the script for my life. I feel more responsible, I feel more ambitious. I want to do things, not just sit around and be lazy. It’s almost shameful. I’ve been doing things with Will more, he swore in to the Marines on my birthday. He ships to bootcamp in July, so I only have a limited amount of time to spend with him before he’s off to bigger and better things. We’ve planend a camping trip for the next month. But I’ve realized there’s so many fun things to do with him and the other guys. But now we’ve only got a limited amount of time, and then he’s gone for five years. It’s depressing, but at the same time it’s uplifting. One of my closest friends is actually doing something with his life. He’s getting out of Chandler, Arizona and doing something worth while. I wanted to join the military a month ago, but I think it was a phase. A phase aimed at pleasing Felicia. I see a lot of benefit in doing it. But in the end, it’s just not what I’ve wanted to do. She’s moved on, there’s no reason for me to try to please her. Hell, it got Will to actually enlist, so that’s the benefit from it. But now it’s time we go our different paths. I do wish him the best of luck. And I’ll shoot him from 10 feet away if we lose contact/don’t remain friends when he gets out. That’ll be a damn shame.

Back to being over Felicia. She obviously doesn’t appreciate who I am. So why should I try to make her? I know she loved me, no matter how frustrated I get and deny that, I felt the love she had for me. I think it’s safe to say she just fell out of love. No tragedy behind it, it just isn’t going to work. Maybe it’ll work down the road, I know I’ve changed a hell of a lot just since my birthday. But she wants a man that served in the military. That’s not going to be me. So maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t. I’m done dwelling on that possibility. I’ll embrace if it if comes, but I’m not chasing it. I can find other things to do. I can find other women to pursue. I actually want to go out on dates, like out to a nice restaurant, a play, a symphony. Something that I haven’t done/normally don’t do.

I’m also done just focusing on a relationship. I jsut got out of a 19 month one, I don’t need to go rushing into one. My father’s dying. I need to help take care of him. My mom asked me what happened to me today because I’ve done nothing but been a blessing to them. She’s been feeling sick and my dad’s been sick so I’ve been doing stuff for them, getting them drinks, emptying my dad’s puke bucket. Nothing major, but it’s definitely helping them. I feel more responsible, like I said. I think a biological switch has finally been flipped. You know how the point of maturity for people is essentially random? I think I’ve found mine — my ninteenth birthday.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now. Slash my hands are tired from all this rigorous typing and I’m sure your eyes are getting a little sore. Just know that I’m finally happy with my life. I know I don’t have much, but what I have I love. That’s all I need.

-Isaac

 

Scandalous Scholastic

So my mind was racing when I decided I wanted to blog. But then I started listening to music and it totally calmed me down. So this is a warning, I have a rant that I need to get out of my system sometime in the near future.

Who can rock a rhyme like this? Bring it to you every time like this.
PZ

 

Elect the Dead

That’s right, the ‘new’ Serj Tankian album. I finally had the time to sit down and listen to the whole album. Frankly, I was very unpleasantly surprised when I listened to it. I come from a background of just embracing music. Anything short of country and I’ll give it a gander.  Serj Tankian, the lead singer from one of my all-time favorite bands System of a Down, released a side project under his name. Now this man is an amazing vocalist, I cannot strip that from him. But his creativity mixed with his political driven lyrics have let me down in a big way. It’s obvious that Serj’s ‘System’ would have been a lot slower than the band, itself, actually was. All the songs on the CD are slow songs with lyrics that seem like they’ve come straight from a Wog’s mouth. The only song I can stand from the disc is ‘Empty Walls’ because it was the first song I heard when I was determined to love his new sound. I can’t say I’ll be listening to this CD on repeat, ever. Hopefully his future releases and releases from other members of the band will conform to the true System of a Down style.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease,

Isaac

 

Greek

It’s an amazing show. Anybody seen it? I remember the first time I watched it was in September 07 right before the season finale. Gotta love those marathons eh? Anyways, it’s a good drama and I’m okay admitting that I watch it. Season two starts Monday, and I’m actually excited. I like the show for a multitude of reasons. Mainly it’s just got me thinking about my life. I’m really in love with Felicia. However, she doesn’t appreciate me, which is obvious, and she’s taken everything I’ve done for her for granted. Chalk it up to experience, but I can’t just think everything is going to be fine. Obviously I’m capable of being had and that needs to change.

I do still want a relationship. Not with Felicia, sadly that’s over. Sigh, I’ve got a lot to say, but not a lot that I want people to read. Maybe another time.

 

I Know Who I Want To Take Me Home

So I know it’s been a week since my last post, as some of my cohorts have pointed out to me. I just haven’t felt the urge to say anything really. I’ve been immersing myself in Counter-Strike:Source. There’s no real reason to do it, the game is just new to me and I enjoy playing with the people I play with. I’ve become somewhat of a known member of the Counter-Strike:Source community because of my work with the Dallas Venom. I know I can get to the professional level if I really pushed myself. My sniper rifle is amazing in the game and I’ve got the smarts to compete with the best of them. My problem is that I cannot make a video game my priority in life.

I do still want to join the service. I’m leaning more towards the Air Force just because of what I have read. Will’s still going with the Marines, he’s been wanting to do that for as long as I can remember and I can’t just follow him because that’s what he wants, I need to do what I want.

I received a phone call from my Aunt last week. She is very against me joining the military. I’m not quite sure why, but the reasons my mother told me are basically because I’m my mom’s only son, and I shouldn’t be putting myself in danger of possibly dying. What I can’t seem to get through to my Aunt is that it’s something I want to do. There’s no other way of getting more self discipline than the service. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be able to do what I want when I want, but the fact of the matter is I can’t. My Aunt wants me to fly out to Germany for the Summer and spend time with her family. She also said she wants me to date some of the German girls out there. It sounds interesting and all, and I’d love to just go experience Germany, but I don’t know how much of a reality that is right now, especially because I haven’t seen my Aunt in four years, so it’d probably be a little awkward. If I had a friend go with me, though, that’d work.

I’m still battling myself about Felicia. I want to be with her so bad sometimes. Yet other times I’m just repulsed at the idea. I think it’s just knowing that she’s got all these guys trying to get with her and she was once mine. Also just the fact that I’ve always cared about her so much and I can’t even express that to her, not in a way that she’d deem acceptable. I desperately need out of my house. Everything reminds me of her. My bed, my dresser, my computer, my television, my daily schedule. It all screams “Felicia!!” It’s really driving me insane. Even certain songs that I have no control of come over the radio and again, I feel like shit. It happened to me earlier today and I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself. Even after I changed the station, I still felt.. empty. Why do I have to feel empty? It’s ridiculous, really. I feel empty all the time now yet I’m full of so much emotion that I’m bursting at the seams. The good vs. evil, light vs. dark, epic battles are still going on within me. All the pressure is building up and I can’t seem to find the release. I’ve tried video games, I’ve tried poker, I’ve tried venting to a friend, I’ve tried venting to a complete stranger. Nothing works. Is this pressure just going to build up and build up until I cannot take it anymore? What’s going to happen if it gets to that point.

Somebody save me if you will.

I’ve got to go finish up poker.

-Isaac

 

Method To My Madness

I know it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve decided it’s a bit juvenile to put up a post every night, especially recently. I’ve been thoroughly exhausted every night since Saturday. Why? Well because starting Saturday morning William and I have been getting up at 7:45 AM and going running for a mile. I need to lose quite a bit of weight for the military, and he just needs to get in shape. We both do. I am very excited about all of this though, it’s really nice having motivation to better myself.

On the topic of motivation let me run off on this tangent. I spoke with my Mother on Saturday about me joining the military. Now I was on the fence as to which way she would go. Would she go with the “I’m so happy for you, yes! Yes! Do it!” route or would she go with the “No, no, no. Absolutely not!” route? Well, I found out. She seemed very ecstatic at my urge to join the service to serve my country. My choice of branch, however, didn’t tickle the fancy. She began preaching to me, if you will, about how she thinks the Air Force is better suited for me and my needs. This got me thinking, why do I want to join the Marines over the other branches? I have no prior allegiances to any branches, nor have I ever had any desire to join one. My reason for picking the Marines is and always has been clear. William. He’s been one of my closest friends for the better part of three years now. We were acquainted, however, for closer to four or five. Now I won’t take you down the journey of how we became friends, it’s mildly boring and frankly, makes us seem even more gay than we admit. So he’s the reason I chose the Marines and I need to rethink that, obviously. I’ll even go as far as admitting that the first and foremost reason I even entertained the idea of enlisting was Felicia. Not even to get away from her but because she obviously wants a man that’s served. Her feelings for her lab partner, a Navy guy, make it painfully obvious. Am I proud of the fact that she influenced me to get motivated? No. Do I regret it? Hell no. I’ve realized that enlisting is the perfect thing for me at this point in my life. I want to travel. The service can provide that. I want to grow up and just be able to support my self. The service can help me with that. And the kicker, when I get out I’ll be able to go to college under the G.I. Bill, that’s $40,000.00 for college. Plus I’ll have the experience in electronics that will make me a hot commodity on the job market.

I hate to go on another tangent, but I need to clear my mind before I go to bed. I do still have feelings for Felicia. I cannot deny that. But I do think I’m pretty much over her. When I think of our past, it stings. When I think of her with another guy or even telling one that she’d be all over him, it stings. But when I look to my future, I see one there. Sadly, it is without her but that’s not my choice. Nor will it be my choice ever again unless by some stroke of, luck?, we end up back together. I don’t know exactly what to do. I loved, love, her so much that I don’t want to see a future without her. But she obviously has moved on and doesn’t see a future with me. This pretty much forces me to move on. Maybe she’ll fall into the category of girls that regret not being with me. Although, she has the semi-prestigious title of heart breaker in my life. She does share that title with Jackie. But she’s taken it so much further than Jackie ever did. The immature boy inside of me yearns to just talk to her and make her feel guilty in hopes that she’ll take me back. The man I am becoming sees that that will only push her further away and it’s not the right thing to do. The one thing she always said to me was that it takes a month to make or break a habit. Sunday marks a month of us being broken up. Sunday marks the day I started to cope with everything. It seems as if February 2008 was the dark cloud of my life. But now that I’ve made it through the hail storm of fury and pain I see a very bright future.

My life is becoming amazing again. I’ve basically given my heart to 3 friends. Not all in the same way, but I have given pieces to them. One piece obviously went to Felicia. There’s a hole where that piece was because I don’t want it back nor do I want to fill it. Her and I share something special. She was my best friend. Note the was. Our best-friendship has been relegated to the past. We are no longer best friends. We hardly talk. Why then, you may ask, do I not want to fill her spot in my heart? Because in order to get where I want to go I need to remember where I’ve been. We shared something special. It may not have been on the same level for both of us, but the act itself is very special. Had I been like other guys maybe this would be easier. But I gave everything to care for her and that’s why this is so hard. I do, however, believe that she will be moving on to bigger and better things. She said I wasn’t what she wants. Now she’s pursuing what she wants and I’m happy for her.

Another piece goes with Mason, my best friend since seventh grade. The only events in my life that Mason was not part of were the ones in 9th and 10th grade simply because we had no way to hang out. We’ve had parallel personalities ever since we met. We played Lacrosse together, both wanting to play attack. We realized that we were better at defense and almost took our team to state. We were ping pong addicts. We played so much at school that his parents eventually got him one for either his birthday or Christmas. We played day and night. We even got in trouble for talking to a certain someone on the phone when his mom was testing batteries. There was also chess. I now I may not seem like a chess player. But back in the day I could castle queen side with the best of them. Then came Counter-Strike. I remember Ben and I started playing and I introduced Mason to it. He took it and ran with it. That was in 8th grade I believe. Guess what game I still play to this day. After I quit Counter-Strike on the wishes of Felicia and the breakup of my team. Mason and I took up our next and his current addiction. Poker! I’m not quite sure how it skipped over me but I’m really not all that interested in poker. Mason, on the other hand, is a poker mongrel. He’s moving up in the poker world and I’m quite happy to see his future expanding. When I get out of the military I may join that cause.

The third piece definitely goes to Whiskey Bravo Tango, Will. I know I said I’d skip over why we’re so close but it’s a pivotal reason in why we’re so close today. Jackie and I broke up at the end of our Sophomore year. Will and Shayla broke up at the beginning of our Junior year. Even though our roles in the breakups were reversed we still hurt the same. We had each other to vent to and it worked. We bonded over our relationship misfortunes. Now we’re really close friends. It’s nice to have someone that’s been through the same challenges and trials as you have.

Now obviously Will and Mason are guys. And they’re in a different part of my heart than Felicia. But they’re all at one point or another my best friend. One more than the other at times, but as a whole they’re all the same. Felicia’s pulling out of that elite group, however, for whatever reason. Maybe that’s opening a new spot for another to come along. Maybe it’s providing a vacancy that won’t be filled for years. I don’t know. What I do know is I’m at peace with my life. The turmoil of the breakup has washed over me. The pain that comes with that and the anguish are finally subsiding. The thought of us no longer being together does still make me cringe, but not as much. I wish I never lost her. But if I didn’t, would I be entering the military now? Would I be on the path I am now? Nobody will ever know, but I do know that I’m doing it now. And I owe her thanks and a great big hug, perhaps a peck on the cheek.

All this thought has ripped tears from my eyes. Happy tears, mind you. The same happy tears I shed when I got in my car after kissing Felicia for the first time. The same happy tears I shed on February 12th, after our last encounter. The same happy tears I shed reflecting upon high school graduation. The same happy tears I will she at the news that I’m going to become a father, whenever that will be. And those tears shall be the same as the ones when that child is born. I don’t really care what you think of me for expressing my feelings. I feel a thousand times better.

Goodnight world,

Isaac

 

Welcommen

Okay, so this is my new blog. I used to use this but the restrictions really bugged me. Plus, the dashboard here is a lot nicer than blogspot. So I’m using WordPress now. I started blogging about my life in February 2008. If you’d like to read any of my posts dated before March 4, 2008 you can find them here.I am half German half Hawaiian. But I don’t look German.
-Jin