So it’s been quite a while since my last post, again. I’m turning away from the blogging fanboy. Just blogging when I need to vent, like this blog was originally intended for.
Work’s gotten a little stressful. It turns out one of the kids I work with gave me up to my boss. The fact that I’m okay with them hanging out in the office and whatnot. Now I’ve gotta be the dick manager that I never wanted to be because they forced me to. Oh well, not really my loss. I’m pretty sure I know who it is, obviously it won’t be 100% unless the kids name is mentioned. But I’ve only worked with one of the kids for the majority of the past two weeks — when I’ve had my keys. I think he’s holding a grudge against me because I got the position he wanted because he’s not eighteen. I never understood why my managers when I was younger were dicks. Now I know — if you’re a nice manager you’ll get your ass handed to you by the ungrateful fuck that wants your position. Dually noted.
Other than that little fiasco from this weekend I’m doing pretty good. Going camping Tuesday/Wednesday with Will and Glenn. Gonna shoot each other with airsoft guns, play cards, paintball a bit, swim, just have fun. I can’t wait to get away from the city and just.. relax. That’s what I’m looking forward to about my trip to Kentucky. Sure, it’s in the middle of nowhere but that’s what I’m excited for. I plan to just throw my iPod on shuffle and run for a couple hours at least half the time I’m there.
An interesting point was brought up by an acquaintance today. A girl that I met first semester and was friends with both Felicia and myself. Apparently she’s more my friend than Felicia’s. Score Isaac: 1, Felicia: 0. We were just talking about being fat. It made me realize why I am, in fact, fat. It’s not because I’m lazy or anything, I mean, I am lazy, but look at Will, he’s just as lazy if not lazier. His ass needs some more meat. It’s because the people that I surround myself by don’t really care that I’m fat. This girl has known me for 9 months and doesn’t care. I’ve got friends that have known me for 10 years that don’t care. I’m pretty good at choosing friends.
Speaking of friends. I feel like I’m growing apart from one of the close ones. I’m increasingly annoyed at the person for things that really don’t matter. I find myself being rash and critical with them for no reason. Yeah, things they do bug me, but that’s how they’re choosing to live their life. As long as things between us dont’ really change, which they haven’t, I need to just shut up. I just can’t quite find the umph to do it though.
I’m starting to become better friends with the girls. I was talking to Will about it the other day, they’ve earned a title. Sure, it’s the girls, but it’s a title none the less. Last time I hung out with them was Thursday on a complete and total whim but it was amazing. I don’t really think I’ll be able to hang out with them without Will for a while, but once he leaves for the Marines I’ll have to. They’re amazing gals, good times, especially sober.
I still don’t have the true need for a lover yet. There’s been a couple girls that have come and gone that I haven’t really been attracted to. Makes me glad that I’m not desperate as fuck like that. I used to not want to even date because of Felicia, I didn’t want to see her retaliate. But now I really don’t care, if she’s gonna play it like that, that’s fine. It’s not like either one of us puts in the effort to see each other. Why would we put in effort to not hurt the other one after the initial hurt is already done? It still kinda hurts — not being with her. But for the most part I’m over it. She was a virus in my life that just dragged me down. It doesn’t matter how amazing I felt or how care free I was, she did change me — for the worst. And like everything else that usually happens, once she was done with me she tossed me to the side with no regard for what would happen.
On to a happier note. I’ve got motivation to get fit again. Just for me, not for you, or you, or you, or her. For me. I think if I can really get into getting in shape I’ll just be in a better place. More energized for day to day stuff. In better shape. Hell, I might even take up some really active hobbies. Just for fun. Something that requires me to get out and about, I’ve learned I enjoy going out and doing things. It’s better than sitting in my room on my ass playing a video game or going to a bar and spending 7 hours playing poker. Although there’s nothing wrong with either.
So I feel better. Partially because Marielle is telling me stories about this guy she just met. He doesn’t even like coffee!! Ahh, goodnight world.
