Rawr. So it’s been a minute since my last blog. But I’ve got to say, I feel quite amazing. It all started last weekend, I shall digress:

Thursday was when it all started. I actually had a semi-laundry like list of things to do for the day. I was actually going to go to Economics, I needed to get my Food Handlers Card for work, and.. well, that’s about it. I guess it’s not even close to a laundry list. Okay, so it started off in the morning. Will picked me up for school like normal, got to English, did a bunch of review on our paper, it’s due Tuesday, April 15. Went to Economics in anticipation of a test which I found out we did, in fact, have that day. But while I was waiting out in front of my classroom I had a surprise visitor. Felicia walked up and started talking to me. It wasn’t really awkward, but I could feel my attraction for her fading. It’s an amazing feeling when you need it. I needed it.

So she walked away, no hug, I didn’t mind. I noticed/thought about it, but I didn’t mind. Got into class, got the quiz. This is where it got interested. Usually it’s Luke, some random guy, and myself working together. But this particular day we decided to team up with the table next to us. So we had effectively turned two brains into six, we were missing the random guy. The quiz took the whole two hours of class, but I had a blast doing it. We were all chatting and having fun while we took the quiz. That’s my kind of quiz. After Economics was Math. Kind of a boring class, but Will and I sit together and dick around the whole time. Plus we’re not allowed to miss any more classes, she’s threatened to drop us lol. So went to Math, dicked around with Will, then headed out.

Mason was gonna go with me to get my Food Handlers Card and he lives right by the school so we picked him up on our way to my place. Got to my place, Will took off and then Mason and I went in my place to get the directions. When I walked in I noticed I had a message from my work. I called them back up and found out that I didn’t need to go in at 11am on Friday morning. I know, it’s a loss of hours, but then she told me I’d begin my management duties the following week, which means more hours and more pay. So that totally got me stoked. Then we went and got my Food Handlers Card. Made fun of how stupid the study guide was, passed the test, got my card and pranked my boss. I walked in and told her I failed the test with a look of clear defeat on my face. She almost freaked, but the I laughed at her and told her I was kidding. She cracked up.

So then Mason and I went back to my place and chilled for a minute. Went back to his place so he could get ready for work. I was gonna go with him, but I got this sudden urge to be responsible, my birthday was Saturday so I decided to go home and start my paper that’s due Tuesday, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it over the weekend. I ended up getting most of it done, but not all of it, I finished Monday night after greek. So I ended up going to bed around 12:00 AM Thursday night/Friday morning. Woke up around 11 AM and just kinda hung out with the parents. My dad’s not doing too good, the liver cancer is really taking a toll on him, so I waited on him hand and foot whenever he needed me to do something. I was supposed to go bowling Friday night, but I guess everyone bailed so that was a no go. So Mason decided he wanted to take me out to a movie, we ended up seeing Street Kings.

It was a good movie. And by good movie I mean it was like “Hight Times”, in that it was a good movie, but there’s seriouisly no plot, at all. One of my favorite lines of all time comes out of this movie though. Let me set it up for you. Basically, at the beginning of the movie, Keanu Reeves’ character is talking to some Korean guys, insulting them, confusing them for Japaneese and whatnot. Finally they get mad and tell him to get it straight. To which he replies “How am I supposed to tell the difference if you can’t? You dress white, talk black, and drive Jew” I couldn’t stop laughing at that. The rest of the movie was blah, I watched it, enjoyed it, but probably won’t watch it again.

After the movie got over we went back to my place after a bit of joy riding. We totally randomly drove around until I convinced him to go play some ball at the park. So we went and played basketball at like 3:00 AM at the park that closes at 10:30 PM. It was fun, I swept him in every game we played. Two games of H.O.R.S.E. and a game of 21. We’re terrible at basketball, but it was still good times. We got back to my place around 4 or 4:30, I passed out around 5.

I got up around 10. Mason got up shortly after. We kinda vegged around, not know quite what to do. Not able to go party because I had to get up early on Sunday. I don’t remember much of what we did. But I spent time with my best friend. It’s the best birthday gift I could ask for. He ended up taking off around 11 that night, I went to bed in anticipation of the next days activities..

Sunday morning I went shooting for the first time in years. I went with Will, Daniel, and Glenn. We drove out to some random place out past Apache Junction and just let loose with the .22’s. It was fun, we decided we need to get a shotgun for next time. That’ll be some good fun. Put some pictures up on MySpace, got a couple good quotes form the guys lol. They’re captions now.

I got home from shooting around 1 in the afternoon and ended up falling asleep for a couple hours. I try not to take naps but I think this one was well deserved. After I woke up I really did nothing all day. Woke up at 4:15 and just watched a couple movies. I watched Terminator 3, Batman Begins, and then the Inagural Moto X World Championships from San Diego. I did nothing but be lazy and help my dad. But it was amazing.

Not gonna lie, I wasn’t really looking forward to Monday. It meant the beginning of my responsibilities because I coudln’t just shed them forever, only the weekend. I got to Math fine, went home did my Psychology homework, went to Psychology then came back home. Ran around town with Will for a couple hours before Greek started. Watched it, took him home and then hammered out my paper. That’s the schedule of what I’ve done recently.

Now for what I’ve been thinking:

I think I’m finally over Felicia. Like, I don’t yearn to be with her. Turning nineteen seemed to have totally flipped the script for my life. I feel more responsible, I feel more ambitious. I want to do things, not just sit around and be lazy. It’s almost shameful. I’ve been doing things with Will more, he swore in to the Marines on my birthday. He ships to bootcamp in July, so I only have a limited amount of time to spend with him before he’s off to bigger and better things. We’ve planend a camping trip for the next month. But I’ve realized there’s so many fun things to do with him and the other guys. But now we’ve only got a limited amount of time, and then he’s gone for five years. It’s depressing, but at the same time it’s uplifting. One of my closest friends is actually doing something with his life. He’s getting out of Chandler, Arizona and doing something worth while. I wanted to join the military a month ago, but I think it was a phase. A phase aimed at pleasing Felicia. I see a lot of benefit in doing it. But in the end, it’s just not what I’ve wanted to do. She’s moved on, there’s no reason for me to try to please her. Hell, it got Will to actually enlist, so that’s the benefit from it. But now it’s time we go our different paths. I do wish him the best of luck. And I’ll shoot him from 10 feet away if we lose contact/don’t remain friends when he gets out. That’ll be a damn shame.

Back to being over Felicia. She obviously doesn’t appreciate who I am. So why should I try to make her? I know she loved me, no matter how frustrated I get and deny that, I felt the love she had for me. I think it’s safe to say she just fell out of love. No tragedy behind it, it just isn’t going to work. Maybe it’ll work down the road, I know I’ve changed a hell of a lot just since my birthday. But she wants a man that served in the military. That’s not going to be me. So maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t. I’m done dwelling on that possibility. I’ll embrace if it if comes, but I’m not chasing it. I can find other things to do. I can find other women to pursue. I actually want to go out on dates, like out to a nice restaurant, a play, a symphony. Something that I haven’t done/normally don’t do.

I’m also done just focusing on a relationship. I jsut got out of a 19 month one, I don’t need to go rushing into one. My father’s dying. I need to help take care of him. My mom asked me what happened to me today because I’ve done nothing but been a blessing to them. She’s been feeling sick and my dad’s been sick so I’ve been doing stuff for them, getting them drinks, emptying my dad’s puke bucket. Nothing major, but it’s definitely helping them. I feel more responsible, like I said. I think a biological switch has finally been flipped. You know how the point of maturity for people is essentially random? I think I’ve found mine — my ninteenth birthday.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now. Slash my hands are tired from all this rigorous typing and I’m sure your eyes are getting a little sore. Just know that I’m finally happy with my life. I know I don’t have much, but what I have I love. That’s all I need.

-Isaac